take care of my =^..^=

bailouts explained.....

2011-04-08T14:52:00.000-07:00

please check this out. i think you'll find it very enlightening.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yipV_pK6HXw

pheonix tears

2011-01-22T15:55:00.000-08:00

there is something to be said about this stuff. i implore you to please check out the material on it. you can read and see videos at pheonixtears.ca this site is very informative and you just might be able to help a particular ailment of you or a loved one. i have seen this work with my own eyes after making several batches and giving them to some family members with skin cancer. as well as a gentleman with hodgkin's disease and diabetes. it has helped them all and i've been beside myself with the results. if you would like further information feel free to message me and we can talk about it. :) i hope you discover the wonder of this and further educate yourself on what you can do for your health rather than load up on prescription meds that is the norm nowadays. most of these medications have effects undesirable. there is way a to get around that. :D
=^..^=

figures

2010-12-23T14:15:00.000-08:00

and of course the week we want to move our stuff it rains like a motherfunker!! i was beside myself. all year we were on the chilly side with high hopes of an indian summer again this year were all washed out by the 6 days of rain we endured. it was nice and beautiful and cleansing but dang it we wanted to move! lol so after christmas we are going to get a little uhaul and load it all up in one shot. will post pics as soon as we get the house together! =^..^=

further loss of freedom

2010-12-23T14:05:00.000-08:00

so the fcc has taken it upon themselves, stating they have the right, to regulate the internet. what else is new? more and more people i talk to seem to support socialism without coming out and saying such. maybe this frame of mind will actually bring it into full effect. with this regulation more and more of our freedoms and civil rights are being raped and taken from us. is this how we want our country to be? weren't we supposed to be free? didn't our forefathers warn us of these disasters when they wrote our constitution? but here we are complacent and willing to allow the government to herd us like cattle. will our blogs now be censored as well? will my own freedom of speech be taken from me before i can get a word out? thanks for looking out for us big brother! =^..^=

home

2010-12-03T15:47:00.000-08:00

davend found us a house! we are very excited. :) it a cute little place in costa mesa it's got 3 bedrooms and a pool, even a dog run on the side of the house for kooshala. :D hopefully we can get it in the next few days so we can take our time moving our stuff in. we don't have much stuff but i'm not too worried it will be nice to make a home for us. so once we are settled and your are well enough we would love to have you over for a visit and a slumber party lol the girls will have a room there and a we will be able to have a place for them, i think we are most excited about this. he loves the girls and is excited for us to start a real life together, as am i. :) the girls are really happy with him, he plays with them and talks to them, they are very happy he is around. things are looking golden for us. business wise we come across some issues of course but plug away we do and things seem to work out. it's very nice that we can work together and support each other through the hard times. we're learning to handle things together. collectively we've lost 9 people this year and several severe sicknesses within the family, it seems to have made us stronger where with others it may have broken them apart....ahh i float away on something else! lol as soon as i can i'll post pics :D love ya! =^..^=

things of many

2010-12-03T15:30:00.000-08:00

so prop 19 did not pass! thank you very much to the wonderful people of california for understanding the bill as it was written and seeing it as a farce! those of us who see this wonderful plant as a great healing tool can now push forward with it as a medicinal product. there is so much we can use this plant for. please get out there and see what it can do for you! think about the prescription drugs that are out there, there are so many effects the drug has on the human body that can be more detrimental than the disease it is trying to ease and/or cure. this plant holds non of these effects. there is more than meets the eye here and it's my hope that more and more people educate themselves and seek the truth for themselves. help yourselves live longer and care for yourselves. the recreational aspect of marijuana is a good thing yes but it cannot be denied that the medicinal qualities out way the "getting high" agenda. think for yourself. think outside money and a temporary high. :) =^..^=

prop 19....some smart views

2010-09-03T12:51:00.000-07:00

"CALIFORNIA SHOULD JUST SAY NO

Legalizing Marijuana Through Prop. 19 Would Only Add to the State's Problems.

Californians will face an important decision in November when they vote on whether to legalize marijuana. Proponents of Proposition 19, the Regulate, Control and Tax Cannabis Act of 2010, rely on two main arguments: that legalizing and taxing marijuana would generate much-needed revenue, and that legalization would allow law enforcement to focus on other crimes. As experts in the field of drug policy, policing, prevention, education and treatment, we can report that neither of these claims withstand scrutiny.

No country in the world has legalized marijuana to the extent envisioned by Proposition 19, so it is impossible to predict precisely the consequences of wholesale legalization. We can say with near certainty, however, that marijuana use would increase if it were legal, because some people now abstain simply because it is illegal.

We also know that increased use brings increased social costs.

Proponents of marijuana legalization often point to Amsterdam's "coffee shop" marijuana sales, rarely mentioning that the Dutch have dramatically reduced what at one time were thousands of shops to only a few hundred -- after being inundated with "drug tourists," drug-related organized crime involvement and public nuisance problems. During the period of marijuana commercialization and expansion, there was a tripling of lifetime use rates and a more than doubling of past-month use among 18- to 20-year-olds, according to independent research.

Closer to home, in a nationally representative roadside survey, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration found that 8% of nighttime weekend drivers tested positive for marijuana. The vast majority were tested using an oral swab procedure that makes it highly unlikely that the use occurred more than four hours prior.

A 2004 meta-analysis published in the journal Drug and Alcohol Review of studies conducted in several localities showed that between 4% and 14% of drivers who sustained injuries or died in traffic accidents tested positive for delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol, or THC, the active ingredient in marijuana. Because marijuana negatively affects drivers' judgment, motor skills and reaction time, it stands to reason that legalizing marijuana would lead to more accidents and fatalities involving drivers under its influence.

Regarding the supposed economic benefits of taxing marijuana, some comparison with two drugs that are already regulated and taxed -- alcohol and tobacco -- is worth considering. People don't typically grow their own tobacco or distill their own spirits, so consumers accept high taxes on them as retail products. Marijuana, though, is easy and cheap to cultivate, indoors or out, and Proposition 19 would allow individuals to grow as much as 25 square feet of marijuana for "personal consumption."

Why would people volunteer to pay high taxes on marijuana if it were legalized? The answer is that many would not, and the underground market, adapting to undercut any new taxes, would barely diminish at all.

The current healthcare and criminal justice costs associated with alcohol and tobacco far surpass the tax revenue they generate, and very little of the taxes collected on these substances is contributed to offsetting their substantial social and health costs. For every dollar society collects in taxes on alcohol, for example, we end up spending eight more in social costs. That is hardly a recipe for fiscal health.

A recent Rand Corp. report, "Altered State," found that it is difficult to predict estimated revenue from marijuana taxes, and that legalization would increase consumption but could also lead to widespread tax evasion and a "race to the bottom" in terms of local tax rates.

Another pro-legalization argument is that it would free up law enforcement resources to concentrate on "real" crimes. Two of us are former police chiefs, who in our combined careers protected five of America's largest cities, including New York, Houston and Seattle, and served as elected heads of the nation's largest professional police associations. We interacted with tens of thousands of officers, and it is our experience that an overwhelming majority of police professionals does not support legalizing marijuana.

Law enforcement officers do not currently focus much effort on arresting adults whose only crime is possessing small amounts of marijuana. This proposition would burden them with new and complicated enforcement duties. The proposition would require officers to enforce laws against "ingesting or smoking marijuana while minors are present." Would this apply in a private home? And is a minor "present" if they are 15 feet away, or 20? Perhaps California law enforcement officers will be required to carry tape measures next to their handcuffs.

As should be evident, despite the millions spent on marketing the idea, legalized marijuana can't solve California's budget crisis or reduce criminal justice costs. Our combined opposition to this ill-considered scheme spans four different administrations and represents the collective wisdom of a former secretary of Education, a governor, a mayor and teacher, an Army general, a drug policy researcher and two police chiefs. Our opposition to legalizing marijuana is grounded not in ideology but in facts and experience."

as a supporter of drugsense.org they kindly sent this article to me. many points of which are logical and i totally agree with. make a wise choice. educate yourself and see the bigger picture. =^..^=

sleepless in orange county

2010-08-27T03:36:00.000-07:00

i can't sleep. this year has been absolutely insane and just trucks right along the same path. looks like a 5 mile walk uphill there and back. there are some beautiful flowers in my garden as of late. so much has happened i want to tell you everything and nothing at once....when i have focus i'll return...=^..^=

Todd Mccormick & prop 19

2010-08-14T11:19:00.000-07:00

so i stumbled upon this little social facebook biting site called hempire. it is supposed to be a like minded community of potheads so to speak. now the reason i call them potheads is because they tend to be more on the recreational side all the while shouting freedom!!! if they were so supportive of freedom then they would not vote for prop 19. not to say i don't want to see marijuana legal, on the contrary. i just don't think we should accept this bill at the expense of our rights. we should be able to have as much as we want and grow as much as we want. what happens to the medical side? there is so much healing in this plant and we want to treat it like alcohol?? hell yeah i want all or nothing. this bill will create more criminals according to the wording of the bill. so since i always have more than an oz i can potentially go to jail. or what of the 110 patients i care for? so i go to jail if i grow for all of them? the fat cats behind this bill i'm sure run arm in arm in fields of dead bodies and are part of the 4 who were able to get permits prematurely of the vote. what is really going on here?? so my opinion is to vote no on prop 19. let's legalize it yet we've waited too long to have it be trampled and vote hastily on it. as for todd.....todd, todd, todd....tsk tsk tsk...i'm ashamed of you. i'm sad you are even close to being a rep of the community. i went to thc expo the first year and i thought cool a place where we can share ideas and thoughts on something we all agree with, love, enjoy, use as medicine and what not. todd did not represent the freedom he so desires and tried to uphold. i joined his hempire site and was banned because my opinion on prop 19 was different than his. instead of trying to sway my vote and talk to me as an adult would he took the role of a defensive child and proceeded to tell me that i am what is wrong with this world. his spouts freedom like a whore spouts crabs yet he bans me for having an opinion. all because he couldn't stand someone on his site disagreeing. if you disagree with an opinion or comment on my blog you are always more than welcome to discuss and or comment nor would i ban you or keep you from visiting my blog because we disagree. we do have freedom of speech and as much as they try to take it from us it's in stone. todd you could have swayed votes you could have made a real change but you were more concerned with who you are and what you do. it's a shame and no wonder there has been no progress in the movement with people like you in charge. just retire already and allow the youth to take over. you are well over done. use your brain for once and stop giving them a reason to call us potheads. effin hippies. =^..^=

prop my ass up....again *19

2010-08-06T22:32:00.000-07:00

so we have a new prop on the ballot this november. as everyone who knows me knows i'm all for the legalization of marijuana. unfortunately i do not agree with prop 19 that is on the ballot. i'm going to vote no. they want to legalize it under the guise of making it like alcohol meanwhile they are putting a limit on what you can have and how much you will be able to grow. how is that not an infringement on our rights and where is the legality in it? yes i want all or nothing. yes i want it legal but where does this leave the medical side? in effect we will be creating more criminals with this prop than keeping them out of our jails. yes although i think that perhaps if enough states vote to legalize it then maybe just maybe the feds will follow but ultimately it will still be federally illegal so we are ultimately all criminals. let's not be hasty with this we have waited this long for this to become a reality so let's do it right. let's keep more people out of jail than in. think about it a little bit. read the bill. make the decision for yourself. demand a rewrite. =^..^=

soon be noticed

2009-06-12T15:35:00.000-07:00

so tomorrow is the thc expo. i'm going with jon to promote his dispensory. i'm excited. it should prove productive to say the least. i'm going to get as much free crap as i can! why else go to an expo? lol hopefully it will be successfull and both of us will get some great opportunity out of it. will post deeper update and details later. :) =^..^=

drug war clock

2009-06-12T15:20:00.001-07:00

oh it's been so long!

2009-06-12T15:19:00.001-07:00

just thought i write a note to say i still know i have this thing! lol
<3 =^..^=

responsibility

2008-06-11T14:38:00.000-07:00

oh ames i was gonna post this with your comment but decided to just post it on the blog itself. ahhh responsibility. what does it really mean? from what i've seen in america, although i've only been here a brief 30 years, if a child fails or becomes delinquent everyone says "the system failed him". what about the parents? since when is it the schools/systems responsibility to teach these children how to be? since when aren't adults held accountable for the actions of said minor, which under the laws of our government should be so. i don't expect the government to teach my children anything, in fact i'll be damned. i believe the public school system is a good thing as it teaches children to tolerate others and accept them. it teaches them social responsibility. now i don't mean "social" as in how they can serve their government, don't get me wrong i know very well that is what they intend, but i mean "social" in the very primal of it's definition. the most valuable social responsibility our pbulic school systems teach is the value of others, human life, and how to treat this most precious of gift that is regularly taken advantage of by ignorant adults and their children. unfortunatly, contrary to the current popular belief parents are responsible for their children. and even more unfortunate the parents leave this up to the teachers and politicians, who happen to dictate what goes on in the schools. i often ask myself why these kids are left to the political wheelings and dealings of the public schools rather than instilling values and making sure the kids are taught properly, where are these kids getting their "street smarts" now? as ames and i blatantly saw in our high school half the kids were too rich or left as latch-key for their parents to care what was going on in their education let alone the values they should learn from home. luckily for us our schools had the funding for the teachers, counselors, and principals to actually care and put time into us. just that sheer knowledge or them caring was enough for our student body to practice decency, loving values, and common sense relative to the real world. imagine if the parents that couldn't be as involved with their kids actually had the time to put into them, if they would have liked to or not. i'm not saying you have to be a major pta player or anything but come on, teach your kids how to be a human being and what it means. the blame for kids failing is set upon the teachers/system even though we know they are still grossly over-worked and under-paid. i can go on about where else people should take responsibility but then this would be a really long post. i feel like if people continue to pass their responsibility off on the system/government and expect the system to fix the problem we will be commies. it won't be far off if we can't be held accountable for our own actions and choices. the government allows this behavior and supports it as the more power they have the better, right? when will it end? will it be too late before people realize what is going on? will the proper education and the bright futures of our children be lost? tell our children the truth. teach them well. take responsibility for your actions, votes, failures, mistakes, accomplishments. don't let this country, no matter how patriotic you are, take it from you. be careful what you relinquish. i was probably all over the place with this, sorry! ;) hope you got my jist though. =^..^=

tired

2008-06-10T21:01:00.000-07:00

i got nuthin....i'm tired and i want a vacation!! but here my mom is telling me that my brother has it bad with his one child versus my two....bahh i can't get into it nor wrap my brain around it. i've been thinking about this football special treatment post of yours ames. can't believe that shit. wtf? damn they can't even teach their child well and right. it's a wonder there is so much crap rolling around this country. just another reason for the rest of the world to hate us. but just wait...once we are a full on communist everything will be alright...right uncle sam? =^..^=

shine on

2008-02-27T15:20:00.000-08:00

everybody's been wondering where you been and now that we what happened we're all wonderin where you are and even though we feel bad we won't be seein you around anymore we want you to know we feel better we won't have to worry anymore we know you're only worry now is you worryin about us worryin about you and even though we stop worryin doesn't mean we still don't feel sad and we're happy to let you know we always will be.

if i survive-hybrid

2008-02-27T14:45:00.001-08:00

Breathing shallow,
I'm slipping away.
Hanging in the gallows,
I'm starting to pray.
How careful it was planned to do away with me;
So kill me if you can,
But words won't make be bleed.
So what if I survive,
And live to tell the truth?
Imagine my surprise,
To find me living and so very much alive!
I'll find a new life and hide,
If I survive.
But I swear you're going down if I survive!

I'll find a new life and hide if I survive.
I'll find my own place in time if I survive.
I'll learn to forget the crime if I survive...
But I swear you're going down if I survive!

If I survive I'll tell on you.

I'll find a new life and hide if I survive.
I'll find my own place in time if I survive.
I'll learn to forget the crime if I survive...
But I swear you're going down if I survive!

high as fuck

2008-02-07T12:21:00.001-08:00

i love this video. this guy is hilarious and the video is great!! check it out and remember the times we had together! if we haven't been high as fuck together yet please look forward to it!!! =^..^=

2008-02-07T11:59:00.001-08:00

so we were fartin' around checking out some lingerie sites. we came across this...how fuckin funny!!! lol they have a few other phrases and they come in a pack just like reg balloons. they also have hearts that have some suggestive phrases and funny lines. happy fuckin valentines day!! =^..^=

2008-02-07T11:57:00.000-08:00

check out these bad boys. i think i'm going to get a pair. i have tons of tabi socks so i figured why not get some boots? it only makes sense!! this site i found has many different styles of tabi boots as well as sneakers that are just plain funky! imagine my excitement when i saw these! when i get them i'll post some pics of them on so you can get a good idea of how i wear them! i'm a freak i know but i can't fight it anymore!! =^..^=

kimono time

2008-02-07T11:52:00.000-08:00

here are some pictures of the kimonos that are on their way to my house! aren't they lovely? it's going to be so fun when they come. i also have a hanbok on the way but unfortunately i don't have any pics of it. i plan to wear them when i hit up the anime convention circuit this year. i'm really looking forward to their arrival as i've been dying to get one for years and i finally found these which i truly love. i'm get the obi's shown as well. the hanbok i'm not only going to wear to a few conventions but at the huge party i'm planning for next year. i found this wonderful asian garden with examples of traditional asian homes and gardens surrounding. it should be a hoot! =^..^=

mama's got a brand new dress

2008-02-07T11:48:00.000-08:00

here is my new dress. i got the underdress, shown as well, to give the skirt a little umph. it's so cute! i love to wear it whenever i can. it's been a little cold for it lately but spring is around the corner and it will be perfect. i think i'm going to pick up another one. my mom is in shock because i'm actually dressing like a girl as of late and the dresses i've chosen actually look great on me! surprise surprise!! so fun! =^..^=

always room for more

2008-02-07T11:27:00.000-08:00

so here are some of my new socks! love them! but most importantly are my new shoes! the ones that have the criss cross bands. SO cute!!! don't you just love them? i totally do!!! they are so comfortable too! i walked around disneyland with them and my feet didn't even hurt! so nice! =^..^=

fresh start

2008-01-18T23:47:00.002-08:00

finally the nursery is completely moved and having pushed through a few bad harvests i'm am so happy to announce the wondrous harvest we have recently finished as well as the one beginning in a week or so. they all came out beautiful and are sure to give us great bounty!! arrrr....the pirate in me breaks through from time to time. ahh where was i? oh yes...this coming harvest should prove to be a wondrous way to ring in the new year. i'm quite pleased at how well they are coming up and things look great for this year. i was really out of sorts before but now i seem to be coming around to my old self. which is much much much appreciated on more sides than i realize. i've been spending more time with the babies, singing to them and talking to them while i work. they really respond, husbandry is a very surprising profession! and very rewarding. i should have a few batches of brownies coming up. i would like to send some to you in ny and vir. please to enjoy!! =^..^=

had to get my fix

2008-01-16T16:33:00.000-08:00

as you may well be aware, i have an extreme sock problem! well i wouldn't go so far as to call it a problem...more like an obsession! i love them! i wasn't able to get any new ones for sometime. with christmas and the many birthdays surrounding said holiday i wasn't able to indulge myself. although for christmas jim was so sweet and bought me 13 pair of some really cute ones and my mom got me a pair too. but finally this evening i was able to buy some! i only spent a hundred bucks, which isn't bad for me! i'm so happy and feel elated at the prospect of new cute socks to show off with my already goofy wardrobe! i also bought some new shoes. they are adorable and i figure they will go well with my skirts, short pants, and pants. you see i've been wearing the same style from the same brand for the past 7 years now and although my love for them has yet to fade i figured it was time to try something new.(even though i did buy another pair of those...hey they were on sale!! so cheap!!!) when they come i'll post some pics so you can see! so fun!! yay! =^..^=

08

2007-12-31T19:22:00.000-08:00

happiest new year to you!! i hope you ring in the new year with style and grace...well maybe not so much grace as a hell of a good time! be careful in your adventures. may the new year find you happiness and joy. my love is with you!! think of me as you end your count down as i will think of you. i had to post this now because in exactly 35 minutes i'm going to be too looped to type!! haha! love to you and yours on this evening of renewal!! =^..^=

chunk of clover

2007-12-25T00:24:00.000-08:00

i don't know why i frequent this place. you are never far from me. always in my heart.
i see this is more than a tribute to your physical self. it's an honor to your spirit.
i miss you everyday. your image flashes before me as i take an afternoon read.
i hear your funny sentiments and words of wisdom. you sang to me throughout my youth.
it terrifies me as i forget your quirks and subtlties. they slip through my fingers.
like the rolling mist of a morning ocean. i sing your songs and carry your traditions.
i pick clovers for you in the evenings. you're too far. always in my heart.
=^..^=

merry christmas

2007-12-25T00:22:00.001-08:00

to all who stop by this page of mine...merry christmas to you and yours. i hope you get everything you want no matter what it is. thanks for being there for me...you know who you are...and thank you for all you do. love! =^..^=

gamer

2007-11-27T21:09:00.000-08:00

so here are a few shots of my main character in the game i play. isn't she cute!! :}~
i wish those wings were permanent though!! so fun! =^..^=

addicted

2007-11-06T10:06:00.000-08:00

i'm playing this game. i can't stop. it's taking over my time and life. i don't do anything but play this game. i don't want my kids or anyone around i just want my ipod my headphones and my game. i'm such a bad bad mom. i know i'll get bored of it soon. i think i use it as an outlet to escape my loveless life.....=^..^=

FUCK!

2007-10-17T22:15:00.000-07:00

The title is just for effect! :)~ okay so we're watching the news and this story comes on. south pasadena has been propositioned by a family to impose a cussing ban. they have a club formed and members. they have a following i guess. which is all well and good. i'm all for the club and the unification it brings but to impose a ban is a direct violation of our first amendment right! this is a FREE country, meaning FREE to believe what you want, to SAY what you want, to BE what you want. first they impose smoking bans outside, now cussing? when does it end? next will there be a ban on shitting in public restrooms? soon the only color of our flag will be red, if this kind of action continues. what is worse is the AMERICAN people are doing it themselves. i am an AMERICAN. DON'T tell me what i can SAY, FEEL, SMOKE, BE, or where i can SHIT!
thank you, this rant is brought to you by pmdd.
=^..^=

tagged! seven things

2007-10-17T15:26:00.000-07:00

so i've never done one of these before but since you sent it i feel i must! seven things..these are in no particular order as i cannot possibly choose my favorite!

1. i always have something to say about everything! *L*
2. i'm insecure in the feelings of others.
3. my way or the highway but at the same time willing to compromise...strange!
4. music moves me to be softer in the heart, warmer to others, paint, and live
5. i'll eat just about anything
6. i don't particularly care for young children, i have no patience but they like me. ?
7. i have more socks for my feet than clothes for my body.

i also suck at these list thingys but oh well. i'll do anything for my loved ones. wait that's nine now....oh well. tag you're it!

i have no one to tag. :( *lol*
=^..^=

funny bunny

2007-10-17T15:20:00.001-07:00

It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was going to fight in another fight, away from the first fight.

– Jack Handey

i get these on my igoogle homepage. this one was particularly funny! enjoy! =^..^=

p.s. omg i'm so hot for this song right now, underworld is touring (as stated in previous post, which btw we are going to the seoul korean show :D) and they are performing their newest album, oblivion with bells (plug plug). this song about hits every right everything for me! crocodile~;<.......

late night...

2007-10-04T01:43:00.000-07:00

her hazel eyes, more gold than green, glinting with laughter as she set her gaze upon them. a full bright smile set upon her lips as a crones laugh leaped from her throat. they were surprised and pleased to hear this sound, fascinated by how musical yet spooky it turned out to be. again and again they prodded and poked her until the laugh was uncontrollable and slowly one by one they joined in. her face flushed profusely as she caught her breath, wiping their eyes and tossing each other playful glances, they continued their conversation well into the morning. drinks were had all around and even as the sun began to rise the conversation had yet to cease. much was learned that night, much was shared, all beginning with an old crones laugh from the mouth of a young golden eyed girl. =^..^=

fricker

2007-10-03T12:19:00.001-07:00

shoot!!! we totally missed the underworld show at the hollywood bowl in sept. so we've been tossing around the idea of going to korea with mom soon. underworld has a show there in nov. so we really want to go. mom says she'll pay for everything and put us up. we just have to get my mom and dad to watch the girls for a week. i'm so excited. mom is getting the plane tickets soon and we are going to korea and going to see underworld. how frickin' cool is that? i'm totally excited and can't wait to go. not only do i get to see one of my all time favorite musical groups AGAIN but i get to visit and see korea!! i can't wait!! i don't know what else to say but YEAH!!! =^..^=

almost over

2007-10-02T22:22:00.000-07:00

so we've finally gotten the nursery moved to it's new home. which seems to be working out better and the flowers just seem to love it. maybe it's because we are so happy with it. you know plants respond to emotions just like anything other living thing. :)
we're almost done getting the old place cleaned up. i have two more sections to clean up and we're done fixing the floor. we had some major issues and remodeling we did for our stay there and we told the owners we would put it back the way we found it. such nice tenants we are! :D it's just a lot of work and it's double with the girls always running around. it takes twice as long for us to do something because we can't find someone to sit the girls. totally sucks but it's what we have to do. if we didn't have the girls then we could finish in less than half the time, but i put them to work! they stand by the drain and "wash" equipment and the ground. they love it and are so proud, but mostly wet and dirty! anyhow, things are coming along and that is why i've been so silent for so long. we finally got over out sicklies and everyone is feeling good. so we can really work. we only have about three weeks until our lease is up, i hope we finish in time. yet i doubt they will have new tenants before we are out. i mean how many people want to rent out a huge space for a nursery? as far as i know the flower business isn't booming that much. hope all is well. know my love is sent to you and your in my heart. love. =^..^=

don't let me down

2007-10-02T22:18:00.000-07:00

i love watching old saturday night live. i was watching one today and just died because i had forgotten about this particular skit and jim and i were just talking about jesse jackson's famous faux pas. then i watched this skit over and over just laughing my ass off. they should let jesse speak in public more, he makes such good eddie murphy skits!!
"don't let me down, hymietown..."
gotta love eddy. especially his take on james brown, rest his soul. ya know, the hot tub skit. "gotta get into the hot tub, OW, that's hot." :}
=^..^=

quiet

2007-09-21T13:28:00.000-07:00

if you haven't heard from me for sometime now it's because the house is going through another sickley spell. the girls are now fine and jim went through it but now i'm sick. this sucks. we only have one more week to get everything perfect and move before someone comes in to look at the nursery and put it up for rent. it's okay because we have figured out when we're going to do what and are just about done setting up the new place so things should fall into place. but we killed most of our new babies...for some reason the pump stopped working and they weren't getting water or nutes. so i bought a new machine and some are bouncing back. i hope noel really doesn't mind helping us. i hope he can. matt is almost done with the walls and electric i believe he'll finish monday. then we can take over. it will be nice. :) anyhow, that's the happs! hope you're all well. love. =^..^=

finally!

2007-09-16T15:12:00.000-07:00

well i'm finished with my two commissioned pieces. i hope the receivers like them!! the orchid came out okay, there are some areas i'm not too pleased with but as a whole it came out fine. i'm sure erica will enjoy it. the lily looks good too, again some areas are shakey but roderick will most likely love it. feel free to be brutally honest! i can take it. after all i do dish it out! *giggle man reading my last few posts, can you tell i've got my little red ghost? too funny!! =^..^=

interesting

2007-09-16T11:25:00.000-07:00

i've always found it interesting that people who tell you to fuck off end up searching for you in the end. it's odd to me though because whenever i've told someone i want nothing to do with them i never try to contact them again. so to me the act is so foreign i must wonder about it from time to time. there aren't many people i've told to get out of my life and never come back. it takes something very serious for me to do that. i've always found comfort in the company of others and have never been really confidant in the feelings of my companions. sadly, i treat every friendship like they are going to leave sometime or another. it never crosses my mind that someone will be a lifelong friend. currently there are a few, if i had to say, that will be lifelong friends but i don't expect it of them. i don't think i would go so far as to tell someone who helped me in so many ways for so long that they are a bad person, especially when i learned many a valuable lesson from them. but if i were to do so i don't think i would ever try to contact them again, let a lone try to see how they are doing. when you smash a relationship so brutally how can you expect there to be anything to pick up? how can you expect said person to welcome you back with open arms regardless of how open they were when your relationship was at it's prime. i have to wonder about that because i can't imagine trying to speak with someone whom you professed their inability to care and love, what do you expect them to say? especially when you can't even apologize for what you did? how can you accuse someone of doing something, that in your mind was so heinous, when you yourself played every part in it and also did yourself? how can you be upset at someone for something they did to you when you were much worse? it's strange so me. if you take advantage and never give with your take how can your relationships grow? how can you expect to be fulfilled in love when all you do is take? you had a diamond in your hands, as fragile as a spider, and you crushed it so easily. then you wonder why you can't seem to love. instead of blaming maybe you need to look inward at yourself. there will be no hope for you otherwise. it's so easy to point out others shortcomings without even looking in the mirror at your own. it's so easy to ignore the fact that you are as bad as anyone. =^..^=

oh sister-in-law

2007-09-15T13:05:00.001-07:00

well i have learned that while mom and i were at the wedding, and melinda was supposed to be watching the kids so the guys could work, something very upsetting went on. mihi was wailing and walking around the house. we aren't sure for how long. jim turned off the jack hammer and heard her so he went in the house. melinda gave him a dirty look and said she has been wailing and walking around the house while melinda just sat there and watched her. she said to jim that she didn't know what to do. jim said what would you do with your own kid. well i guess it happened again later and melinda again just sat there without doing anything. not even picking her up. so my dad came in to pick her up because jim went to go get the car from the shop. i just can't believe it. i would never just watch while a baby was roaming around wailing and so upset. i was so pissed when i heard about it. i made sure it is clear to everyone she is not to be alone with my children EVER! how could she be so mean. if stanton were crying and upset i would pick him up, not just sit there and watch him lose it. mihi probably thought she was alone the entire time and was so upset! some aunt melinda is. i just can't believe it. =^..^=

bunko

2007-09-15T12:46:00.000-07:00

so i went to bunko last night. i love to go because usually i have a really good time, get socialize and relax a bit. the ladies who go are great, even i am a little more crass and rough around the edges then they are, although i do know how to straighten up when necessary! ;}~ anyhow, last night i was a little upset by the proceedings of the evening. i'm the youngest of the bunch and there are a few other girls a bit older than me, well this one in particular kept yelling, "hurry up! ring the bell! let's go let's go!" i mean every round and for most of the night the games were rushed. well by break time i had about had it. i couldn't understand why people would come to play if they wanted to hurry up and leave or wanted to be somewhere else. it's no fun when it's rushed. our break was only about 10 minutes long and normally we go for about a half hour break. well after ten minutes she was yelling to hurry up and ring the bell and get started. well i was in the bathroom changing my tampon. i was pissed so when i came out of the bathroom i clearly stated, "i can't even change my f**king tampon!!" things kinda calmed down after that and we finished the game before ten o'clock. my aunt and kelly stayed to hang out so we all bitched together about how we didn't much care for the rushing. i told mom i would rather not play if that is how it's going to be. i mean geez, jim rushes around here all the time, the kids are crazy, the last thing i want is to rush through bunko which i supposed to be a social fun event. so we'll see how next month goes, yes we only meet once a month so what's the point of trying to get through it fast? i mean we all really like to talk to each other, sue almost died over the summer, mel had a new grandchild, sue had a new grandchild, and we didn't even get to really talk about it or see pictures because some were in a hurry. it was sad. i've been trying to cut down on the cursing, last night i couldn't help myself. i was so upset. so once again i need to start over on breaking my cursing habit. oh well. i hope i didn't offend. i didn't feel too bad though because we were at my mom's house, the house i grew up in, and when we play elsewhere i don't talk as bad! =^..^=

oh brother

2007-09-12T13:01:00.000-07:00

so once again my brother gives my mom a guilt trip for something that was entirely out of her control. you see my dad broke ground on their add-on last saturday (pics coming soon) so jim, damion, matt and dave were there helping. jim ran the jack hammer all day and was beat down by evening! my mom and i had a wedding of a close friend we had to go to later in the day. i guess damion had called my dad the night before and gave dad the impression that melinda was coming with him. so he asked if they could bring stanton. well of course my dad said yes but when damion got there saturday melinda wasn't with him. he said she was coming later but i don't believe she had any intention of doing so. it came closer to the time for mom and me to get ready so i called melinda and asked her if she was coming. her mom said they would be there soon. so mom and i got ready to go. they showed and we hung out for a bit before we had to leave. i asked melinda if she'd be okay with the three kids, assuming she would be since she has a masters' degree in teaching children of this age or older. she said she would be fine. but of course jim had to go in and feed the girls and put mihi down because for some reason melinda can take care of strangers' kids but not her nieces. i don't understand that one. well last night my parents, the kids and jim all went out to dinner with me. damion went out of his way to call mom and make her feel bad, telling her melinda's feeling were hurt because she wasn't invited to the wedding, like mom was the one who put the guest list together or something. mom totally felt bad all night and i was wondering why he felt like mom should bear the brunt of it. i don't get it. it's not like melinda grew up around judy, it was her wedding. she only saw judy at a few of our family bbqs. it's not like melinda ever really made close friends with judy, i don't even think they spoke much at the gatherings let alone outside of the get togethers. where mom and i, and everyone else that was invited, have always been a big part of judy's life. i think melinda was just pissed because she had to watch the kids and didn't get the day off, as planned. it's not like melinda works full time let alone has to raise stanton alone. they live with her parents and there are five adults always around to help with the boy. she acts like she never gets a day off! please! not to mention they always drop him off at mom's without even planning it with her in the first place. they just assume mom will watch him. not that mom doesn't enjoy having him but i always make sure i've talked it out with mom and have a plan before i drop my kids off to be sat by her. they totally take advantage of my mom. and she works all week, her ass off too, plus she does star. she's hasn't been in the best of health lately and they still act like she should be there at the drop of a hat AND have to be responsible for their butt-hurtness!! stupid. it's like the time damion called mom to bitch that i hurt melinda's feelings when i didn't say hi to her at the salon. i was taking something to meghan's car and she knew i was coming back, if she wanted to talk and bullshit she should have stuck around, but no she left and then they call my mom to tell her i hurt her feelings. how the frick old are we? come on. i don't care what those people do i am just tired of them dragging my mom down and treating her like crap. it's not like i get to hang out with mom all the time, and they drop the boy off at her house just so melinda can go shopping with her mother, that she LIVES with. as if she never gets time with her. it pisses me off. =^..^=

from seaport to the bronx (da bronx)

2007-09-09T23:57:00.001-07:00

"careful not to let him drown..." his eyes laughing, taking her elbow to help her up the curb. she was fixed on the tiny turtle in the mini tank with a mother's love.
"he's trying to get out of the water," she cooed, "i'll angle it like this.." she sighs as she decides on just the right angle, speaking gently to the turtle the entire time. he looks up and i throw him a smile, which to my surprise he returns.
"those have salmonella...," geanine whispered into my ear. glancing back to the turtle i wondered if the woman and her lover might have possibly acquired an unwanted pet along with the turtle. i hoped they wouldn't be affected.

so much for the diet

2007-09-09T22:05:00.000-07:00

oh i could just kill me. i bought a dress, some a-line culottes, a black ruffle shirt, and a sweater from anthropologie. i do need new clothes. i just feel bad for spending money when i know we are in a bind. i haven't been spending as much as i would if we were okay, so i guess i can feel good about that right? i wore the dress to a close friends' wedding. it's cute, kinda reminds my of an artists' smock. it has a square neck, it's indigo blue, shift dress (kind of a mod feel), with puffy sleeves to the wrist and settles at my knees. it's simple and cute. i know i should have a pic for you but i never seem to be in front of the camera! i put some new pics of the girls on flickr! check 'em out! hope your weekend was grand. =^..^=

i freakin' LOVE you!!

2007-09-05T13:56:00.000-07:00

oh my gosh ashley you are the BEST!! i love the print you sent me! she's gorgeous and i can't wait to add her to the collection. thank you thank you thank you!! i just can't thank you enough. for those of you who have yet to check out ashley's work you NEED to do so. her art is full of emotion and every time i look at the prints i have my heart fills. i can't express enough how much her art is worth. there could never be a price to me because it's priceless. ashley you totally rock!! i can't wait to get more of your work. jim laughs at me and says soon enough our house will an homage to ashley!! i'm working on it! *giggle....love!! =^..^=

no ordinary morning...chicane

2007-09-03T14:35:00.000-07:00

if there was nothing that i could say
turned your back and you just walked away.
leaves me numb inside, i think of you, together is all i knew.
we moved too fast but i had no signs
i would try to turn the hands of time
i looked to you for a reason why, the love we had past me by.
and as the sun would set you would rise
fall from the sky into paradise.
is there no light your heart for me?
you've closed your eyes, you no longer see.
there were no lies between me and you
you said nothing of what you knew
but there was still something in your eyes
left me helpless and paralyzed.
you could give me your reasons
change the world and change your tides
could not give me the secrets of your heart and of your mind
in the darkness that surrounds me now there is no piece of mind
your careless words undo me, leave the thought of us behind.
=^..^=

i still love you ash..

2007-09-02T14:12:00.000-07:00

yes ashley is my favorite artist. i just love her stuff and had to buy more. i've found an artist who i think i've fallen for almost as much. his name is jeff thomas and his stuff is too cute!! i went ahead and orderd a mess of his prints, i'm going to put them up for jim, a tribute of our relationship!! i'm so excited to get his work and ash's should be here in a few days! i can't hold myself together!! ;) hee-hee =^..^=

newest plan

2007-08-30T13:42:00.000-07:00

well, i've decided to wait to move the house. for now i am just going to move the nursery. it will be nice to get it closer to the home and easier to deal with then. i can't wait. hopefully that will be done by the end of september. i only have 'till october where the nursery is now. so in the process of tear down and fix up! things are going great and it looks like things will flourish for the rest of the year. i have michelle to help now and things look like they'll do nothing but get better. i figure one more year here then i can buy a house. i can't wait. i found this perfect little number right in the heart of carlsbad. i'm not sure it will be available when i want to buy but it's exactly what i'm looking for. it was built in 1976, very spacious floor plan, totally open. has a backyard and a staircase to the beach. how awesome!! i really hope to find one similar when i'm are ready to buy. you never know that one may be available, it has been up for sale for over a year now and with the real estate here at a stand still we may get lucky. i already have plans to rip up the bathroom and build my own japanese wet room, with my own style of course. i'm also planning to place a koi pond in the middle of the house and have it connect to one outside! i'll need your help for that one, noel! i can't wait!! =^..^=

not enough time

2007-08-30T13:31:00.000-07:00

i've got three commissions to finish. just have to place the finishing touches on the lily and started the orchid last night. it looks alright! :} the flamingos are coming along slowly. i can't seem to find an hour or so to get some serious work done on them. my mom saw the layout though and she totally loves it. they will be breaking ground on their add-on next week or so, we're going to have a bbq for it. wish you were here! i want to work on kristi's painting too. i can't seem to find the right layout for it, let alone decide on exactly what i want to do for her. she hasn't commissioned it but i thought it would be a lovely gift for her. i really want to send something to ames but i can't put my finger on what i want to send her either. maybe it will come to me soon. hee-hee. anyhow, i'll post the orchid and lily once i finish them! oh! almost forgot, i'm getting a sewing machine next week! i'm so excited. i already have patterns cut out for the hanbok hoodie and some dresses for me and the girls. even working on arm warmer patterns for this fall/winter!! so excited! if you're interested let me know. i'll be making a ton of arm warmers in hopes of selling them but i'll send you some to try out!! :} i'll post my shirt designs too so you can check them out. if you're interested just email me with a size you prefer. i'll also be doing children's clothing too!! check back soon. =^..^=

just do it...

2007-08-29T14:28:00.001-07:00

i did. finally. after waiting for the release of my favorite mag i went ahead and subscribed. it took me a few years to do it but i figured i'd probably save some money. i want to buy some new manga but i took the girls shopping and bought them some clothes instead. i guess that's a good mommy but...i want manga!! *pout* maybe soon...i'll count the days. i figure i could go through my boxes and see which volumes i need for which series and then make my list, maybe i will save some green that way too. instead of just blindly buying whatever suits my fancy at the moment! i really should finish the ones i've started! on most of them i've only got one volume left to get. i don't want them to end so i guess that is my way of extending them. *le sigh =^..^=

poison

2007-08-29T14:23:00.000-07:00

jim has food poisoning. so my phones have been quiet and i've been chasing the girls around. it's a mild case so he isn't as bad as he could be. i just feel bad for him. it totally sucks. i got food poisoning once and was down for two weeks or more. it was coming out of both ends for me. fortunately for him he only threw up the first day and has just felt crappy ever since. but he's a trouper!=^..^=

the 22

2007-08-22T10:34:00.000-07:00

if you haven't seen it lately, they've really done a bang up job on it. it looks pretty good and it's much wider. they sectioned off the 5 and 57 so the 22 runs a lot clearer. we were driving home last night and since jim was driving i was looking out the window in one of those rare instances when the girls are complacent. i couldn't help but drift back into my younger days. when amy and i used to fly up and down that freeway making our mark on orange county and the like. hauling down the 55 to get our morning coffee and game of pool instead of first period. ripping up the 22 to get to dr. disney at the courtesy of mr. davis. then as i got older and amy left me (hee-hee), smoking my car out blazing a trail to ventura for many nights creating hazy memories of parties, people, and sun rises. making my way to capistrano to visit my family's sacred land, to dance under the moon with my howling cousins. making my way to san francisco and seattle, running high on adrenaline, passing the sleepless nights on the road. those were the days. driving was a favorite past time for me....maybe we can revisit that when you return to me!! *lol* =^..^=

hospitals.....hmmm

2007-08-22T10:20:00.001-07:00

so yesterday i was calling the hospital like crazy trying to find my papa. i finally got a hold of my aunt since the hospital seemed to have no idea what i was talking about. well i guess the story of yesterday is that my pop went to the doctor around 9a. the doctor wanted him admitted immediately. so pop and grandma lulu went to chapman medical. (gramma died at st. joe's so pop doesn't want to go there) so they get to the hospital and checked in. well he was completely ignored, no i.v., no meds, no bed. he finally got a bed at 2p and meds at 5p. they didn't even give him something to eat until around 6p. dr. wolf (my whole family goes to the same dr.) was pissed off. he was not very nice to the staff, he asked them who was to blame, he was livid. you see he sent all the paperwork and what he wanted for my papa at 10a that morning and he couldn't understand why a sick man wasn't in a bed with the meds dr. wolf wanted in him. i don't blame him. when i found out he was sitting in the waiting room all day, no oxygen, nothing, i was pissed myself. ready to go and break some balls. the kicker for me is grandma lulu's cancer is back and with pop being so fragile right now i can't go see him. mihi just got her yearly boosters and her chicken pox vac so she is sort of reacting which means i have to stay away from pop and grandma lulu. it makes me want to rip my hair out. what if he dies? i know *phtuy phtuy* but i can't help being scared. you see my family is very accepting of death. it's just a means to an end. we understand it's need to live. so if he does go, it will be okay. we will mourn and grieve but there will be no hindering nature here. of course we'll want to try to save him as much as possible but no sense in pushing when you've been beat. i know his dr. is fab and he has the spirit of a warrior of the tribe so he should fair just fine out of this. i just love him so much that i don't want to see him hurting. =^..^=

an unwanted rerun

2007-08-21T12:29:00.000-07:00

damn. when i was 18 my grandmother, who practically raised me, died suddenly. she had walking pneumonia. well she wasn't feeling well and was admitted into the hospital. almost immediately she was placed in a medically induced coma. they couldn't stop the infection from spreading and she died after two weeks from septic shock. today i get the call right after i wake up and learn that my grandfather has now been checked into the hospital with pneumonia. i'm scared. i don't want to go through this again even though i know he can't live forever. but he's too young. i'm afraid he's going to go as fast as grandma. i'm going there later today to see him. =^..^=

so...

2007-08-19T22:05:00.000-07:00

how are you? it's been a bit since i've talked to you. are you feeling better about the way things are going? it sounds to me like you already have your answer, your heart just needs to follow. maybe it should be the other way around...? i think it takes awhile for a person to really get there though. some people don't really learn to listen to their hearts until their "golden" years. i know it will come to you. in the end we always do what is right...or so i like to believe. of course circumstances can affect that. does it ever end? they seem to affect a lot. call me. we can talk and maybe work some stuff out for you. no matter how long it takes. =^..^=
and you....it's only been about 5 days since i saw you. that's pretty short considering how long it was before that. i hope things are going well for you since i left. please tell geanine, mikey, and bri-bri i said hello. we cracked up at the shittles picture. ;} i hope work is going well and you are doing great. i miss you and the girls miss you too. sage wants to call so i told her we'll call during the week. i think we'll have a better chance then! we love you and miss you.=^..^=
hello to everyone else who reads this silly thing. i just felt like i had to acknowledge you too since this post wasn't a general admission. have a beautiful night. =^..^=

still not okay

2007-08-17T15:58:00.000-07:00

... =^..^=

pandapple

2007-08-17T12:56:00.000-07:00

how cute it this? i got it for mihi in ny. it is SO cute!!! i love it. i slept with it while i was there. mihi loves it now because it smells like mommy and it's the perfect size for her. i just had to share the absolute cuteness this thing is! =^..^=

not afraid to admit

2007-08-17T12:52:00.000-07:00

i'd like to be number one in my friends lives. i know i can't be but it would be great!! i'd like to think i try to squeeze everyone i love into the number one spot, at least make them feel that way as often as i can. you see there aren't many people i am number one with. but i must hand it to you three for always making me feel that way. when i stayed with you in nyc, i felt like number one. when i talk to you and you need my support about your life, you make me feel like number one, like when you called yesterday. i hope i helped by the way. you always have an ear with me. you can always escape to me to too. i will never turn you away. you always know what to say and when to say it to make me feel safe, loved, and number one. i don't know where i was going with this but thanks for reading. =^..^=

da bronx

2007-08-17T12:38:00.000-07:00

it was totally cool. we hung out at the sham (the shamrock that they all rock) with geanine, bri-bri, and mikey. it was so fun. we went shopping at seaport and totally walked our asses off around the city. i shed a tear at the WTC footprint and was absolutely breathless a few times. i did get a touch of home sick on monday night. it usually happens to me the night before i leave somewhere i'm vacationing on my own. it was bad this time though, probably because of the flight the next day (i hate flying). but thank buddha noel was there. no one answered their phone but noel did. he let me cry to him and was totally supportive and sweet. i really appreciate him doing that. more on that next post. anyhow, nyc was a blast. i got to see all kinds of interesting people who probably thought i was crazy cause i talked to them without a care, said hello, and was very polite. the girls told me that i probably shouldn't be so nice to new yorkers!! *lol and surprise surprise, i drank!! i was fun. the sham is a really cool place, not at all a sham!! ;) i truly enjoyed myself and can't wait to go back. the girls loved their surprises we got for them. s was jumping around yelling about auntie kristi is so nice and she misses her so much and can't wait to see her so she can give her a big huge hug. she wants to call you and tell you how much she loves, misses, and thanks you for taking care of her mommy while she was there and for the prizes!! i can't thank you enough for showing my around and making me feel like i belong. thank you so much for being you. like i said before, your friends are fab and your are too. i'm so happy you are doing so well and things are panning out for the best! take care of yourself and i'll start planning my next trip out there! if you don't mind i would like to ask a.m.y along, don't worry you two will love each other!!! ;) i love you much and can't thank you enough! =^..^=

sweetest astroboy i know

2007-08-08T10:56:00.000-07:00

one day while i was flipping through the blogs on this here blogger i came across the most delightful, most kawaii (cute), page i have seen in awhile. he lives in hongkong and he is an artist. his page is wonderfully designed and i think he even writes music! oh my blog, he is the cutest! if you get a chance follow the link to his page and check out his stuff. he really is an amazing artist and his pictures will melt your cold icy heart (not you, just "yours" in general!!) so plugs to you my astroboy. i enjoy your page and i hope others discover the delight that is you! thanks for always checking out my page too! =^..^=

sadly dreams

2007-08-07T16:00:00.000-07:00

i was so tired last night that i couldn't tell if this was lucid or just a dream. but i was sitting in my chair watching kamichu and there was a knock on the door. i opened it and it was you and the kids. it was late at night and i could tell the kids were very tired, we set them up in our guest room and you and i went downstairs to talk. you were crying hysterically and between the sobs you told me what lead you to come to my house. with what your mom just recently went through you wanted to come to a neutral place where you could think. i can't quite remember your main issue, something about a decision you had come to and you were at odds with what you should do. i made us some tea and we talked about everything and nothing for a long time. the last thing i remember was telling you to get some rest, you could stay as long as you like, and we'll talk more later. we said goodnight and went to sleep. my heart sank for you and i hope you are doing well, and that this dream is nothing more than a materialization of my worry for you. =^..^=

nintendo ds

2007-08-07T15:55:00.000-07:00

okay so i'm saving my odds and ends for a new nintendo ds lite. i want the pink one but i'll settle for a white one. i just love my old one so i'm super excited to get the lite. they have the coolest games for it. and if you have one too it has wifi and we could play games together, even if you don't have the game!! ;) we should totally get a couple. i was thinking since christmas is the next big gift giving time then maybe you'll get one in the mail from santa =^..^=. what color would you prefer? white black or pink? i gave my psp to sage. she loves to play the cute games i got for it and i even bought her a couple movies for it. she watches them when we go on long rides. it's so much nicer than the bulky dvd player she has. we even got her favorite movie for her on it, nightmare before christmas. i wonder if ely and jay would like one. i get them for a trade from a friend, he owns a pawn shop, so i just give him some good stuff and he gives me the psp. so get back to me about the ds and the psp, i would love to get them, and you, something you would love! =^..^=

feed the fetish

2007-08-06T15:22:00.000-07:00

so i've had this sock fetish for years. ever since i started making my own money. it gets bad sometimes (sometimes $500 in one order). i haven't bought socks for a few months now so i browsed my usual haunt and couldn't contain myself. i just had to buy some socks!! i got some over the knee pink socks with two thin stripes at the top, some natural angora cable knee high socks, some more black tabi socks, and a pair of dark violet over the knee striped socks. i'm so excited!! i can't wait for them to get here. so then i went to a site i get our t-shirts from and had to get something there too! i got jim 2 soul rebel shirts, one with drums and the other with a latin percussion design (he plays congas like a pro) and i got myself 2 tokidoki shirts. they are totally cute. one is pinstriped button down with little patches in fashionable places and the other is a black tee with big momo & adios on it. they go with my tokidoki bag, which was surprisingly inexpensive! the shirts together were about as much as the bag, but i couldn't resist. i need clothes. i'm still rotating my old clothes from before sage was born. i think it's time to up date. ;) i'll post some pictures for you to see soon! =^..^=

art & tunes

2007-08-04T21:25:00.000-07:00

even though i'm on a spending diet i went ahead and bought some art from my current favorite ashley. her art has such emotion and wonder. i love it. i kinda went over board and bought 6 pieces. but they were worth it. i love the prints, am very excited to put them in their places. i'm also excited about my new cd by kate nash. she is a british indie artist, almost diary like writing over interesting beats. check it out if you get a chance. you can see some of ashley's art via the link to the right. plug plug! ;)~ love ya ash. =^..^=

new york here i come!

2007-08-04T19:40:00.000-07:00

this is so sudden and spur of the moment! i'll be leaving on the 10th. i'm kinda nervous about the flight, as i hate to fly. but i'm excited to go, as i've never been. it's going to be a blast. i hope. i was quite surprised and pleased when i was asked to come out. i haven't seen her in so long. she has a great place with a view of the bay and we're going to shop most of the time, if we aren't out looking for a guy for her. i was really surprised when jim told me he wanted me to go and enjoy myself. not that he would wish me a bad time, but i worry about him and the girls while i'm gone. i wanted to head over to vir to see another great friend but this trip was so sudden, and short, that i think i will arrange a better time to visit there. i do want to visit there though, i would love to see it too....and you of course!! =^..^=

dad

2007-08-04T19:39:00.000-07:00

so my dad got his latest test results back and it looks like his cancer is in remission. we are so pleased about that. i'm so relieved for my parents. the last couple years have been hell worrying about my dad. but by the grace of god he is on the road to remission. i hope their depression subsides and they will be able to happilly enjoy their add-on. yay dad! =^..^=

down and out

2007-07-26T21:58:00.000-07:00

my computer has been down for sometime now. but thank goodness it is in the process of being fixed and we should have it back in a few days. dwight is very cool to take care of it for us as i just can't find the time. so yay i'll be able to dull you into my world once again, in a few days. i hope you and your family are feeling better with the events that have taken place in the past few weeks. our love it with you and we pray for the healing you need. anyhow, i'll call you soon and hopefully will have new and exciting posts for you to read! love. =^..^=

dang thingys

2007-07-04T12:59:00.001-07:00

You Communicate With Your Body

This isn't as bad as it sounds, it just means that you're a "touchy-feely" person.
You need a lot of affection in your life. And for you, this means both giving and receiving little touches.
Warm hearted, you bond with people easily. In fact, you often feel a little sad when you're not in the company of others.
A little moody, you tend to be controlled by your emotions. But a bit hug always comforts you!

How Do You Communicate?

me too, again!

2007-07-04T12:53:00.000-07:00

You Have A Type B+ Personality

You're a pro at going with the flow
You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer
A total joy to be around, people crave your stability.

While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.
Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done
You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

see last post too!! :}

me too!!

2007-07-04T12:50:00.001-07:00

Your Brain is Purple

Of all the brain types, yours is the most idealistic.
You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense.
Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries.

You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself.

What Color Is Your Brain?

birds of a feather flock together....=^..^=

liberty

2007-07-04T12:05:00.001-07:00

everyone has their own idea of it. yet everyone takes it for granted. well, maybe not everyone. there are always exceptions, even when the sign says "no exceptions". here we are able to say, feel, believe, and think what we want and yet there are officials in the government that are always tempted to place more and more laws on the nation, always forgetting liberty. as you travel the world you slowly begin to realize our country is the only one where people can be who they are, even if they have to fight for it a little. fight society, government, family, friends, and themselves. your faith in humanity can easily be restored when you see, first hand, the trials and suffering other countries endure in this day and age. of course it could just as easily squash your faith in humanity. americans have entitlement issues though, and that seems to get in the way of everything. liberty is very much bittersweet. and now i find myself wondering where my liberty is as i fight traffic to try and make it for the last hour of stanton's birthday party, only to be bitched and moaned at because we were late (even though we are staying for the evening.) strange. happy 4th. =^..^=

flamingos

2007-06-18T11:52:00.000-07:00

so i'm FINALLY working on my mom's painting. i finished the palm trees for her now i'm starting the flamingos. she has been asking for this painting since high school and now that her bathroom is finished i'm starting it. if you haven't been to my parents house in awhile, they are totally remodeling. what was the t.v. room (across from my old room) is now the dining room, the wall between it and the living room is gone too. the back room is the studio soon to be new add on for my parents. the plans are being approved and work should start within the next month or so, but i digress. the flamingos are laid out and ready to be slapped with a few coats of acrylic. i was thinking of using oil but if she is going to hang it in the bathroom that wouldn't be too good. anyhow, here's the palm trees. i'll post the flamingos when they are done! =^..^=

biggest on earth

2007-06-15T12:18:00.000-07:00

i'm the biggest nerd on earth. so dorky and strange. i don't think i'm very like-able. i wonder why my friends are my friends. i know i shouldn't be so down on myself but sometimes i wonder if my friends still talk to me out of pity. i mean a.m.y is super cool and kristi rocks. jess-cat is a goof but she is still fun. tristan is great and witty but i think he just comes over to get bags. i dunno. i suck. =^..^=

charity makes you miss calls

2007-06-15T12:06:00.000-07:00

i know i can talk to you almost anytime i want to. i know i should shrug it off when i miss your calls. but sometimes i want to talk to you about everything and nothing so badly that i upset myself when i miss your call. i noticed you called. i tried to get home in time. but i missed it and when i did get home things got kinda crazy and i couldn't call you back quite in time to really talk. so my volunteer work over, my kids calmed down i finally have the moments i need and i'm sure i've missed our window of allowed conversation. smack it up! (that's what sage says now when she gets mad!! it's hilarious!!) so hopefully we can try to talk again some other time. if i want to talk to you i guess i should tell the hospital they'll be shorty one volunteer once in awhile!! har har! =^..^=

old loves die hard

2007-06-14T12:24:00.000-07:00

as of late i keep dreaming of my old love.. he could do no wrong. everything was perfect in our relationship, our communication, our partying, our love and desire for one another. we talked everything over and i completely gave myself to him, which is extremely rare for me to do. he had to move to be with his father, which i was completely understanding of and supported. he wanted me to move with him but i couldn't at the time. i told him i would try later. i also suggested breaking up but he didn't want to. he broke up with me shortly after my birthday one year, just when i was going to tell him i was going to move out where he was. i was devastated, and those of you who know me well, he got the worst of my emotions. i let him know exactly how he was ripping my heart and soul from me, and how it sounded as well. when he felt and heard my despair he tried to take back his desire to break up. but i told him, it would be better if we went our ways. we were young and far from one another. but i still pined for him. my soul still bleed for him, even when i saw him years later, after i was married. i knew when i saw him his soul still needed mine. it was painful. we've since moved on but our love still lingers in the background. we know we still have a special place in each other's hearts. it doesn't hurt to see him anymore, but his new girlfriend doesn't like me....i wonder why? ;} sometimes though these dreams take me back to that time when we were together. the time i gave myself completely and how it changed my life forever after. before that i was never so timid or unsure of myself. i felt different and halved. =^..^=

pmdd and my version of crazy

2007-06-11T12:06:00.000-07:00

so i've got the bad seed. yay. i knew something was wrong when everytime my menses came around i would want to kill myself. but now that i'm more educated on the subject and have multiple dr's appointments, i feel better. not to mention i'm bleeding enough to kill a small yak. my sister-in-law is an rn. she helped me pull a vitamin reg together to get me through the roughest times. i don't want to have to rely on serotoninhibators to get me by and god forbid end up dependent on them. so i've decided to add vitamins into my already organicly healthy lifestyle. damn, i really am a hippy. i never believed you, you know. in my early twenties i did consider myself a cyber-hippy, but that's a different post. so i'm sorry to have my blog absorb my depression and i don't want to bring anyone down, if i have another episode i'll try not to rip my blog a new one! thanks for reading. =^..^=

not in the mood

2007-06-08T11:38:00.001-07:00

nothing else to say i guess. i don't want to do anything but stay in bed lately. i don't think i'm going to blog until i feel better. i don't want this negativity. =^..^=

dinner date

2007-06-02T21:01:00.000-07:00

*le sigh
=^..^=

hnt owwie!!

2007-06-02T13:36:00.001-07:00

check this out. i got this bruise from nailing the side of a desk at work. it took almost a year for the bruise to go away and i still have a dent in my leg. i think i lost muscle mass or it died or something! damn!!

music saves

2007-06-02T13:06:00.000-07:00

i don't know what it is!! i can't get enough of those trombone solos! everytime i hear one in a song, said song becomes one of my favorites!! i just love it!! love that trombone solo! man oh man!

v-smile

2007-06-02T12:55:00.000-07:00

dear carebears- what does caring mean? love-amy
this is the opening dialog for sage's v-smile carebear game.
just had to share.
hee-hee.
love you a.m.y
=^..^=

look carefully

2007-06-02T12:44:00.000-07:00

the world's biggest chihuahua. if you can believe it. this is my brother's chihuahua fred. he has got to be the fattest, biggest, thickest chihuahua i have ever seen. of course he is so cute and sweet you are forced to love him but man! he is so big! we love you freddy! i know it doesn't sound too good but when he dies i'm going to sing that song "freddy's dead". yay curtis!

sage's 1st hnt

2007-06-02T12:38:00.000-07:00

even though it isn't thursday! sage is over the top! she is too cute and always has a different pose for every picture. she is so sweet and funny. this is her, "we just moved into this house" pose! too cute! =^..^=

dream

2007-06-02T12:16:00.000-07:00

...

dragon reprise

2007-06-01T13:29:00.000-07:00

awww hell. i must be the devil in a green dress! ;) i contacted the dragon again, she has been pretty nice as of late so i've tried to take advantage of that. after viewing the tracking this morning it seems the infamous dress has been returned to china yet again. she sent me an email saying she would refund my money once the package has been returned to her. i fell kinda bad because she made the dress to my specifications, sizes and all, and i would so love to see her work. so, being the confusing "can never make up my mind" bitch that i am, i suggested maybe working out over night shipping or two day shipping if it gets to her way prior to my event. we'll see how she swallows that one when she responds. i offered to even send her partial payment for the express delivery. i hope it gets back to her in time to express it to me for the expo. i hope she goes for that idea. at this point the dress better be absolutely perfect and breathtaking! we'll see. =^..^=

never trust an honest dragon

2007-05-29T12:43:00.000-07:00

so i found this dress that i so wanted for anime expo. i ordered it and sent my money, in january. well it's now the end of may, i need the dress by the end of june, and it's still not here. it was sent back to the honest dragon so i had to send her more money to resend it. well i did that and she put an address on the package that i haven't lived at in more than two years. i have no idea how she even got this address. so i contacted the post office and they said i have to pay and have my address changed. i did that when we moved from there, TWO YEARS BEFORE!!! why should i have to do it again. i don't understand why the post office can't intercept it and send it to a post office where i can pick it up. they told me that the sender has to contact them with the correct address!! WTF??? i don't get it. so i emailed the honest dragon again and she said to check for it after june 5th. i need it before the end of june....hello!!??
so i told her the post office said she has to contact them. i also told her if i don't get it when i need it then i want my money back. i can't keep sending her shipping money for something she intends for me to never get. i can't lose the money i paid for the dress either. i don't want my shipping money back, i don't want the dress at this point, i just want my money back. damn. i guess i have to chalk it up to a loss altogether. damn dragons. =^..^=

desire

2007-05-26T17:41:00.001-07:00

the new manga digital programs out there are pretty good. easy to use and a great way to create and save. my work has gotten better and i'm getting the hand of this program. i'm trying out a few of them so i can see which works better for me, but i digress. a mac top is what i want. so badly. i can use it to store and create my art without having to tie up the home computer and maybe,just maybe i can get my book going. i have so many ideas for books that i'm going to finish one as soon as possible to get working on the next. the problem i have is ocd. everything has to be perfect. at least in my eyes. i know there are people who won't like my work but i don't care. this is my outlet!! this image you see is my first attempt at one digital program. it is fan art, yes, but i have to start somewhere. i haven't quite finished my character designs for my first book but i do have models i am working from. anyhow, this is my latest project, amongst my many others. =^..^=

harold's narration

2007-05-26T17:16:00.000-07:00

the narration of harold crick. strange than fiction. my, this film was fairly brilliant. i really enjoyed it. i think i will buy this one. the premise and execution was fabulous. they couldn't have picked better people to play these characters. if you haven't seen it yet i think you should. when i first saw the preview i wasn't too sure about it. i didn't think it was going to be as entertaining as it was and i felt that somehow it resembled the film delirious and that one with rodney dangerfield in it....but to my surprise and delight it was a great watch. the whole movie was captivating and it seemed to be very short. i guess that is a good thing with films as sometimes in the middle i tend to get bored. but this one....i could go on forever. see it. =^..^=

evolution, religion, and the public school system

2007-05-26T13:28:00.001-07:00

this country is the greatest. you can believe what you want, practice what you want, say what you want, and be yourself. i think it's wonderful that everyone is allowed to have their own mind. although it upsets me as bit to be viewed as a christian nation. granted there are many christians here and our founding fathers were mostly christian i don't think it's right to involve any sort of godly beliefs in our school system. i think all we should teach our children in the public school system is scientific fact and actually proper, correct history. (that's a completely different post all together.) i don't think it's fair to have someone's religious beliefs pushed on you or to have to sit through these beliefs in school when yours are entirely different. if you want to teach your children creationism and denounce science then you should have your kids home schooled. if you believe that schools should bring god into the equation then you should have your kids home schooled. to deny others beliefs is so very contradictory to christianity. right? to hold on to bigoted ideas about others and their faith the very unchristian. right?
at the street fair one year this woman came up to me and asked if i were christian. i told her no, as i do not practice christian beliefs and my religion has many differences than christianity. she proceeded to tell me that if i were not christian then i could never be saved and would burn in hell. i didn't repsond to her, i just walked away thinking that was not very christian like. why do they do that? they contradict themselves constantly. then try to push their desires and beliefs on others. i just think it should be left out of state and school as our forefathers intended. =^..^=

sickly

2007-05-26T13:22:00.001-07:00

i'm sick. i hate being sick. my chest hurts, my head hurts, my sinuses are infected. the girls were sick but not so bad. oh well. i guess i have to be the one to suck it up and take care of everyone. i just want to sleep all day. oh well. being sickly sucks. =^..^=

amatuer

2007-05-15T00:02:00.000-07:00

amy you are so talented with the camera. i'm no where near as good as you but here are two i took of sage last year i thought you would be proud of! ;) good job on your newest by the by! =^..^=

scenes from a mall

2007-05-14T23:48:00.000-07:00

i'm walking through this mall, always with a destination in mind. there is something i must do, sometimes with more urgency than others. i never get to my destination, however, something always distracts me. this dream comes to me every now and then, for the past few years now. each time there are different people with me and different situations arise to direct my attention to anything other than my purpose. i hope to have closure with this one some day. =^..^=

moving...

2007-05-12T21:02:00.000-07:00

it is the time for us to begin the search. we can no longer stand my business to be away from our home so we will be moving to accommodate. it will be nice though as it is easier from home. i'm happy. we're looking around san clemente. there are some really nice houses down there and i'm hoping we can still be fairly close to the ocean. *le sigh...we'll see though. it's a good thing i never unpacked all of our stuff when we moved in here. it will be an easy move. all the movers will have to do is load boxes, furniture, and the piano. i'll box up our clothes and what little we do have out in a day or two! so nice! all my fragiles come with me though. i don't care how good movers say they are, i don't trust anyone to take my treasures! i don't know what i would do if our place was to ever go up in flames, i've gone so far as thinking to put them in a suitcase for that reason alone. i decided against that as i wouldn't be able to enjoy them, thus i run the risk the same as you.
i have to load more pictures and pictures of my latest piece. soon...
i've thought about doing a newer rendition of my high school symbolic self portrait. maybe...=^..^=

art

2007-05-09T10:51:00.000-07:00

i wish my art were funky and fresh enough to sell. i wish people were interested in my work. i'm the only one who really likes it, i guess that is all that matters. i wish i could sell it though. i would love to do that someday! *le sigh
=^..^=

funny

2007-05-09T10:24:00.000-07:00

i know, it's spamish but my aunt sends me these goofy emails all the time. sometimes they are funny. she just sent one the other day and there were some pretty good quotes. here are a few i enjoyed.
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.
(Unknown)
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
-Helen Hayes (at 73)-
Old age ain't no place for sissies .
-Bette Davis-
*****If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
-Catherine- *****
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-
ha ha....the good example one is my favorite!!
it's funny. the quotes you choose tell about your personality!!
=^..^=

deviant

2007-05-08T11:16:00.000-07:00

are you deviant yet? do you have a deviant account? you should get one. i use mine strictly for art. no monkey business on my deviant-ness! anyhow, it's a community of artists. it's fun to check out everyone else's talent too. i don't have much up on mine, i'm still working on photographing my art. but soon i will be adding paintings, drawings, sketches, and photography. i like to dip in several places! I would like to check out art.com too. when i do i'll post about it here so you can be in the know! ;) =^..^=

palm trees

2007-05-06T12:38:00.000-07:00

I did this one awhile ago. you can't see the color very well because i took the picture with my phone. yesterday i ended up starting another palm tree scene because my mom had a fit that i gave this one to michelle. oh well, now she can have one too. i'll post a better picture of this one and the new one when i finish it. at least i got some of my urge to paint relieved a bit! yay! =^..^=

inspiration fails me

2007-05-05T14:35:00.000-07:00

today i feel the need to paint yet totally lack the inspiration. lately i've felt shunned. i don't know why, it's like i have no one on my side. i know amy and kristi are perfect friends i just wish they lived closer so we could actually spend time together. no need to feel bad about it though because i love our talks and can wait until i go visit you or visa versa. i need someone who needs me i suppose. A peak in my psyche was one of the young women on the forum would like to do a letter exchange with me. yay! i'm happy about that. so off to her i will send something special. what could it be? i'm not sure i'll have to see...
my brother says he's coming over today. he has said that for the past few months and then pulled a no call no show. i'm sure he just needs some herb or something....sorry, i can't help him there. maybe i'll garden today. i bought some dahlias and i have some daises to plant too. i'm going to show the girls how to plant seeds and take care of them so they bloom beautiful flowers. they'll like that. =^..^=

midnight treat

2007-05-03T11:46:00.000-07:00

full moons are my favorite. i like all phases of the moon but the full moon tugs at me. a few hours must have gone by last night while i was looking at the moon. i was thinking and admiring so much i didn't notice how long i was out there. it started to get cool and i was tired. 65 songs later, 10 cigs short, i finally went to bed. i just can't help myself when the moon is full. i stare. sometimes not one thought crosses my mind. it's like meditation. (i couldn't decide on an image, totally kawaii or my heritage, so i put both up. *giggle) =^..^=