sleeping time

Everywhere you go you'll find yourself....people are so alike that wherever you go there you are. your personality is created not found. So i wonder what brings on discrimination. especially when everyone is made up of everyone. i can't say i have no biased opinions or subtle discriminations, i don't think anyone honestly can. and as much as i try to suppress these feelings sometimes they slip out a bit. i also cannot rightfully get upset when one takes over aspects of my own personality before my eyes, although it is unnerving. i do try a give everyone i meet an honest chance, even though it's only one shot. as is, i'm sure, the way of many. we all hit and miss.
the last few years i have been really angry. finally i am able to see some of the why and a lot of the crazy that was me. it's amazing those who are still around me stayed. and others wonder why i could no longer see them through, be their rock...make their way. now that the anger is leaving i feel a sadness. i guess i've always carried it, in the past it was easily buried. no suicide attempts here, no notions of failure. just sad that i was not able to help my old friends, i was not able to give what they needed, that my role as mother has suffered most. but with sad comes happy and i can't complain. there is joy that i can see now, no longer clouded by betrayal, deception, and manipulation. there is love around me that i have begun to feel again. i can't say i am the only fault in this delema but i am willing to admit my mistakes and work through them. maybe tomorrow will be a good day. oo soul is playing....maybe i really will go. nice dreams. =^..^=