supposed to...

i'm supposed to go to jess-kat's house. her mom wants to see the girls and i wouldn't mind hanging out but i just don't feel like going anywhere. oh well, she comes to my house so i should at least reciprocate sometimes.....*tap tap tap
alright, let me take a shower and i'll pack up the girls. i don't have to stay long i guess....
it's just a lazy day....
=^..^=

hanbok

so i grabbed this hoodie from this great girl, vivien. she has a few labels that she makes cute clothes for. one of her labels is a gothic lolita and the other hold some neo-japanese designs. i love them. i've bought a few of her shirts and a of course a couple of her hoodies. her idea with the hoodie is totally brilliant. as my love affair with asian cultures continues i couldn't pass up this hoodie. it's got kimono sleeves. i love them. i have one in black and one in pink. everyone complements me whenever i wear them. so it got me inspired to begin to make my own clothing again. i've begun a pattern for hanbok jacket hoodies. hanbok is korea's traditional dress. usually they are quite beautiful with hand painting on them. my daughters' hanbok are gorgeous. so i have cut a pattern for some casual hanbok and will begin sewing them together very soon. i'm so excited. if you're interested, drop me a comment about it and i can make you one too! love! =^..^=

korea

i am teaching myself korean. it's easier than i thought. i think it's because i have been listening to korean and japanese for most of my life. so i thought i would try my hand at it. my korean vocabulary has grown immensely and i can write in korean now! soon we will be heading back to korea! i am so excited. the shopping and sights there are unbelievable! i can't wait to go. the girls will love it there too. i want to show them their heritage. i know it doesn't have anything to do with who they are but i want them to see what they are part of. they are learning korean too. i wouldn't be surprised if they will be able to speak it fluently before mom and dad! they better anyhow, they are so smart. =^..^=

lucid

so last night i had a wake induced lucid dream. i was in the room, it was very plain. there was music, like oldies kerth used to play., anyhow, there were a few people there, i didn't see who they were as i knew i had someone else to pay attention to. alas to my surprise it wasn't anyone i knew. he had dark hair, soft hazel eyes, light skin and some really nice lips. he was wearing a white short sleeve button down shirt and black pants. we sat down at these really cool chartreuse chairs and he asked me if i could help him. i told him i would do all i could. he smiled and said he had to go, he got up and walked away. i waited, he never returned, so i looked around at the room picking up details like the dresser, old 50's with some deco accents. very nice. huge wall mirror with plain frame and an old retro record players. benny goodman screamed through the speakers, getting louder and louder i decided to leave. i walked out a bright blue door, as the music faded i sighed and smiled. i looked at the sky and said, "wake up now" and i did. it's been a long time since i've lucid dreamed let alone wake induced! i was happy to return to the practice. i hope to run into that man again, so maybe i can help him. i get the feeling he really needed it or i wouldn't have had the dream. we'll see. if you are interested in lucid dreaming there a ton of books on the subject. check 'em out. i've have a couple few years of experience, through my teens and young adulthood. once you practice and get used to it it's really interesting. you find out a lot about yourself in the process. there have even been cases of both parties recalling the dreams. =^..^=

bored again...

so today i sketched a bit and played with the girls. jim took a picture of me and i'm HUGE!! i can't believe it. oh well....someday i'll get back into my clothes. but mihi is almost 10 months old....it's taking way too long. :{ i went back to the dreaded quiz page and tried this one out. i wasn't going to post any that i did but i thought this one was interesting. this is how i always saw myself, but i'm sure people see me a great deal differently. oh well to that too. :]~

You Are 96% Open Minded

You are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out! Well, not really. But you may be confused on where you stand. You don't have a judgemental bone in your body, and you're very accepting. You enjoy the best of every life philosophy, even if you sometimes contradict yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

musics

check out this player. ---->
it was on bekkah's myspace and i totally dig it! i had it on my myspace (is that right?) before i cancelled the account so i wondered if i could put it here. imagine my pleasure when it worked! *smiles galore
it's on shuffle, just pick any track. turn it up and listen good! :)~ these are only a few good tunes, hopefully i can remember to update it regularly. i want you to get the full spectrum of my taste! (oooo....dirty)
the thing can hold like 72 songs or something. you should get one too! when you look at it here you can't see the whole thing but i didn't size it or anything and thought as long as you can read the titles and play them it doesn't matter. it would be totally killer if you could use songs from your own computer but then again i haven't looked or anything. no time with the childrens. :D
=^..^=

titles

i was looking at some art at meghan's shop the other day. i always find the names of the pieces very interesting. it seems like artists try to come up with the "deepest", "intelligent", "creative", "quirky" titles. my titles are never so. most of my titles are very simple and plain. meghan says that's what makes people want my work more. i laugh because i really haven't sold a lot. she is just very sweet. i heart meghan. :) <3
=^..^=

open

this took me about 18 hours on your run of the mill paint program. i know there are better programs out there but unfortunately i was at work and had only that to work with!

a book in the works....?

so I have sketches i do regularly, i should post my new ones. here are some i did last year or so. they are pretty good, if i do say so myself. maybe i can really finish a book soon! =^..^=

series of three

these are my latest....i'm going to put them in the guestroom...we needed some color there....i think they are okay. =^..^=

You Are Emerald Green

Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you. Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show. People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate. But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you.

What Color Green Are You?

geezz...i know how many am i going to do right? i'm killing time until dinner...don't worry i won't post every one i do, just the ones that fit right. ;) =^..^=

You Are a Realist

You don't see the glass as half empty or half full. You see what's exactly in the glass. You never try to make a bad situation seem better than it is... But you also never sabotage any good things you have going on. You are brutally honest in your assessments of situations - and this always seems to help you cope.

Are You An Optimist or Pessimist?

I normally don't do these quizzes but I'm bored today so I thought I'd check it out. This is the first one that is pretty much right on the money....don't you think? =^..^=

must be

wow, three posts in one day...i must be bored. i just read a great line on this woman's journal. we hear it all the time but everyone says things differently. she just had a nice way of saying it i guess.
everyone gives advice even though often times they don't follow their advice.
so true. this even applies to myself. *gasp i know...me too.
i've been shopping at this store called anthropologie lately. they have some really cute skirts and housewares. i picked up these koi fish dessert plates. so sweet. i'm really into koi. i love how beautiful and tranquil they are. the kissing fish. i'm trying to get my friend to help me make a koi pond coffee table. if we get it right i'll post pics for you to see.
anyway anthropologie has these fantastic chairs with whimsical patterns, the pear chair , helinski floral, and bottna are my favourite right now. i just love their bedding and fabrics too. unique little place. *yum*
how random could this entire entry be? ;)~

news!?!

after watching the afternoon news i am amused at best. i don't watch very often because i can't believe some of the stories that make the news. like the death of anna or mel gibson's outburst. the news was already so negative and made people afraid of the world, now they are feeding the gossip columns too? i don't get it. why do people care so much about the lives of these celebrities? what is so important about them that their business is on the daily news? a couple of my good friends like the magazines about celebrities and i see that as fun and games but it shouldn't be in the news! i even ask my friends why they are so entrapped with no answer soon in sight. ;)~ since it's in my face, i do feel sorry for anna and her baby. i do feel sorry for brad and angelina's kids since they insist on taking on more than they can handle. i do feel sorry for mel gibson. i mean we are a "free" country and have the right to free speach so why can't mr. gibson make a movie that may or may not be historically accurate? why does it have to be accurate anyhow when it is a movie. people are crazy!!
did you know last year breast jobs surpassed nose jobs. this is on the news right now and the woman can't be more serious about it. then the next story is about a silly t.v. show. what the heck, i thought this was the news!!! =^..^=

myspace

aw myspace. salute to you. thanks for the interesting times. it was amusing to "chat" with people from long ago. it was nice to keep in touch with ones so far. yet as i find that i no longer need myspace to contact or find, my account slides into the darkness never to be seen again. alas i am not sad and i hope others are not as well. it was a good run but now i'm done. this blog is a little more my style, thanks a.m.y. so goodbye mypsace, may you continue to interrupt lives and demand attention. may your fingers reach the depths of the world and tickle the fancies of many. =^..^=

sleeping time

Everywhere you go you'll find yourself....people are so alike that wherever you go there you are. your personality is created not found. So i wonder what brings on discrimination. especially when everyone is made up of everyone. i can't say i have no biased opinions or subtle discriminations, i don't think anyone honestly can. and as much as i try to suppress these feelings sometimes they slip out a bit. i also cannot rightfully get upset when one takes over aspects of my own personality before my eyes, although it is unnerving. i do try a give everyone i meet an honest chance, even though it's only one shot. as is, i'm sure, the way of many. we all hit and miss.
the last few years i have been really angry. finally i am able to see some of the why and a lot of the crazy that was me. it's amazing those who are still around me stayed. and others wonder why i could no longer see them through, be their rock...make their way. now that the anger is leaving i feel a sadness. i guess i've always carried it, in the past it was easily buried. no suicide attempts here, no notions of failure. just sad that i was not able to help my old friends, i was not able to give what they needed, that my role as mother has suffered most. but with sad comes happy and i can't complain. there is joy that i can see now, no longer clouded by betrayal, deception, and manipulation. there is love around me that i have begun to feel again. i can't say i am the only fault in this delema but i am willing to admit my mistakes and work through them. maybe tomorrow will be a good day. oo soul is playing....maybe i really will go. nice dreams. =^..^=

...ing

sometimes i open the window of our condo when everyone else is sleeping and smoke a cigarette. like a secret. looking out at the water while korean pop rocks my eardrums is relaxing and meditative. almost as good as painting.
being awake when no one else is has a cleansing effect. to take in the stillness while blasting music no one else can here. headphones are wondrous creations. ;)
my love for korea began a few years ago. this ritual of midnight smoking i took up years before. so i was touched and enamored even more when i saw this very scene in the korean drama "...ing". that seems to happen a lot lately, the more films i watch. it seems as we get older we all share so many experiences, loves, and opinions. it makes me wonder why so many people are emotionally and spiritually retarded. not to say i am perfect, i'm human too...
=^..^=