sadly

alright now that i'm calm and collected, not letting my emotions get the best of me, i feel okay about the umbrella. i emailed the woman, via one of her sells, and told her i would pay anything she wanted to get that umbrella. i was short and to the point. she emailed back saying she was sorry and she would keep me in mind if she wants to sell it in the future. i wanted to write back saying i hope the future would be before july but instead i said thank you and that i didn't mean to sound rude i was just completely devastated. also that i hoped she would remember me if she wants to sell it. alright i know i'm the big dummy who should have made my max bet at $250 or something but i didn't think in the very last second i would get swooped on. but apprantly it happens. so, with raw human emotion, i lash my frustrations out on someone else. i can't deny my humanity. mostly positive that i am not the only one who has experienced this in their time of pure, utter devastation, heart break, sorrow. i'm so sadly. i've been moping around the house all night kind of dazed. you may be wondering, "why all this over a silly umbrella?" well i've been searching for the past 3+ years for the perfect umbrella. every one i saw was not for me. then i found this beauty. my name was all over her. but alas she has been snapped from me without even a chance. now i'm at a loss. i don't know what to do. i pine for this that is not mine. but it will pass, i hope. the hurt will be here for a few days at best. then slowly it will fade....right? =^..^=