Love

Is it so easy to toss the words "I love you" around? I don't say it to many and almost everyone I have has been one who has been around, I can count on them being around for the rest of our days. We all have those few who we've expressed such sentiments to that have gone. I can understand when disease makes it hard to stay even if you think you love them. I can see the task and burden too much to bear. I suppose I can see how resentments can get in the way of love, was it really love then? How do we know it is forever love? Falling in love is not a choice.... Maintaining love very much one, perhaps I am wrong in that belief. Maybe that is one of my shortcomings. I was told recently I do not know how to recognize my own problems. If that person ever stumbles upon this post I would like to refer him to my post, I believe entitled tagged, I am very much aware of my problems. We all have a past we deal with. Some of us live in it, some of us dwell on it, some of us reach for it. Do we ever truly move on from it? Just as pieces of ourselves go with lost connections I believe our pasts remain with us just as our choices and mistakes do. They can ruin us at times, they can provide strength in others. How funny this coming from me after my recent posts huh? Excuse me as I drift...does love mean berating our heart of hearts for past abuses they may have endured or choices they made even when done for them? What is crossing the line in love? Is love meeting in the middle, explaining each side, accepting working out a solution and moving forward? The refusal to compromise, to hear another out, then to profess love, what do you call that? To know the one you are professing your love for is going through things that make some things out of their control would you offer patience or belittle them? 

What motivates one to toy with another? Are two people's views of the same situation really so different? Do people seriously try to get someone who was there to believe a situation was what it wasn't? I do not trust when people say they love me. What do they love? When they leave they make sure to rip me apart so what is the point? I give them all I can even when I am nothing but it never seems enough. And yet for some reason I have faith it is out there. I do not think I will come across it again as I just don't think I will be here long enough. So I will continue to revel in the love of my family, my children, and those few friends who I know will be around until the end of my days. <3