newest plan

well, i've decided to wait to move the house. for now i am just going to move the nursery. it will be nice to get it closer to the home and easier to deal with then. i can't wait. hopefully that will be done by the end of september. i only have 'till october where the nursery is now. so in the process of tear down and fix up! things are going great and it looks like things will flourish for the rest of the year. i have michelle to help now and things look like they'll do nothing but get better. i figure one more year here then i can buy a house. i can't wait. i found this perfect little number right in the heart of carlsbad. i'm not sure it will be available when i want to buy but it's exactly what i'm looking for. it was built in 1976, very spacious floor plan, totally open. has a backyard and a staircase to the beach. how awesome!! i really hope to find one similar when i'm are ready to buy. you never know that one may be available, it has been up for sale for over a year now and with the real estate here at a stand still we may get lucky. i already have plans to rip up the bathroom and build my own japanese wet room, with my own style of course. i'm also planning to place a koi pond in the middle of the house and have it connect to one outside! i'll need your help for that one, noel! i can't wait!! =^..^=

not enough time

i've got three commissions to finish. just have to place the finishing touches on the lily and started the orchid last night. it looks alright! :} the flamingos are coming along slowly. i can't seem to find an hour or so to get some serious work done on them. my mom saw the layout though and she totally loves it. they will be breaking ground on their add-on next week or so, we're going to have a bbq for it. wish you were here! i want to work on kristi's painting too. i can't seem to find the right layout for it, let alone decide on exactly what i want to do for her. she hasn't commissioned it but i thought it would be a lovely gift for her. i really want to send something to ames but i can't put my finger on what i want to send her either. maybe it will come to me soon. hee-hee. anyhow, i'll post the orchid and lily once i finish them! oh! almost forgot, i'm getting a sewing machine next week! i'm so excited. i already have patterns cut out for the hanbok hoodie and some dresses for me and the girls. even working on arm warmer patterns for this fall/winter!! so excited! if you're interested let me know. i'll be making a ton of arm warmers in hopes of selling them but i'll send you some to try out!! :} i'll post my shirt designs too so you can check them out. if you're interested just email me with a size you prefer. i'll also be doing children's clothing too!! check back soon. =^..^=

just do it...

i did. finally. after waiting for the release of my favorite mag i went ahead and subscribed. it took me a few years to do it but i figured i'd probably save some money. i want to buy some new manga but i took the girls shopping and bought them some clothes instead. i guess that's a good mommy but...i want manga!! *pout* maybe soon...i'll count the days. i figure i could go through my boxes and see which volumes i need for which series and then make my list, maybe i will save some green that way too. instead of just blindly buying whatever suits my fancy at the moment! i really should finish the ones i've started! on most of them i've only got one volume left to get. i don't want them to end so i guess that is my way of extending them. *le sigh =^..^=

poison

jim has food poisoning. so my phones have been quiet and i've been chasing the girls around. it's a mild case so he isn't as bad as he could be. i just feel bad for him. it totally sucks. i got food poisoning once and was down for two weeks or more. it was coming out of both ends for me. fortunately for him he only threw up the first day and has just felt crappy ever since. but he's a trouper!=^..^=

the 22

if you haven't seen it lately, they've really done a bang up job on it. it looks pretty good and it's much wider. they sectioned off the 5 and 57 so the 22 runs a lot clearer. we were driving home last night and since jim was driving i was looking out the window in one of those rare instances when the girls are complacent. i couldn't help but drift back into my younger days. when amy and i used to fly up and down that freeway making our mark on orange county and the like. hauling down the 55 to get our morning coffee and game of pool instead of first period. ripping up the 22 to get to dr. disney at the courtesy of mr. davis. then as i got older and amy left me (hee-hee), smoking my car out blazing a trail to ventura for many nights creating hazy memories of parties, people, and sun rises. making my way to capistrano to visit my family's sacred land, to dance under the moon with my howling cousins. making my way to san francisco and seattle, running high on adrenaline, passing the sleepless nights on the road. those were the days. driving was a favorite past time for me....maybe we can revisit that when you return to me!! *lol* =^..^=

hospitals.....hmmm

so yesterday i was calling the hospital like crazy trying to find my papa. i finally got a hold of my aunt since the hospital seemed to have no idea what i was talking about. well i guess the story of yesterday is that my pop went to the doctor around 9a. the doctor wanted him admitted immediately. so pop and grandma lulu went to chapman medical. (gramma died at st. joe's so pop doesn't want to go there) so they get to the hospital and checked in. well he was completely ignored, no i.v., no meds, no bed. he finally got a bed at 2p and meds at 5p. they didn't even give him something to eat until around 6p. dr. wolf (my whole family goes to the same dr.) was pissed off. he was not very nice to the staff, he asked them who was to blame, he was livid. you see he sent all the paperwork and what he wanted for my papa at 10a that morning and he couldn't understand why a sick man wasn't in a bed with the meds dr. wolf wanted in him. i don't blame him. when i found out he was sitting in the waiting room all day, no oxygen, nothing, i was pissed myself. ready to go and break some balls. the kicker for me is grandma lulu's cancer is back and with pop being so fragile right now i can't go see him. mihi just got her yearly boosters and her chicken pox vac so she is sort of reacting which means i have to stay away from pop and grandma lulu. it makes me want to rip my hair out. what if he dies? i know *phtuy phtuy* but i can't help being scared. you see my family is very accepting of death. it's just a means to an end. we understand it's need to live. so if he does go, it will be okay. we will mourn and grieve but there will be no hindering nature here. of course we'll want to try to save him as much as possible but no sense in pushing when you've been beat. i know his dr. is fab and he has the spirit of a warrior of the tribe so he should fair just fine out of this. i just love him so much that i don't want to see him hurting. =^..^=

an unwanted rerun

damn. when i was 18 my grandmother, who practically raised me, died suddenly. she had walking pneumonia. well she wasn't feeling well and was admitted into the hospital. almost immediately she was placed in a medically induced coma. they couldn't stop the infection from spreading and she died after two weeks from septic shock. today i get the call right after i wake up and learn that my grandfather has now been checked into the hospital with pneumonia. i'm scared. i don't want to go through this again even though i know he can't live forever. but he's too young. i'm afraid he's going to go as fast as grandma. i'm going there later today to see him. =^..^=

so...

how are you? it's been a bit since i've talked to you. are you feeling better about the way things are going? it sounds to me like you already have your answer, your heart just needs to follow. maybe it should be the other way around...? i think it takes awhile for a person to really get there though. some people don't really learn to listen to their hearts until their "golden" years. i know it will come to you. in the end we always do what is right...or so i like to believe. of course circumstances can affect that. does it ever end? they seem to affect a lot. call me. we can talk and maybe work some stuff out for you. no matter how long it takes. =^..^=
and you....it's only been about 5 days since i saw you. that's pretty short considering how long it was before that. i hope things are going well for you since i left. please tell geanine, mikey, and bri-bri i said hello. we cracked up at the shittles picture. ;} i hope work is going well and you are doing great. i miss you and the girls miss you too. sage wants to call so i told her we'll call during the week. i think we'll have a better chance then! we love you and miss you.=^..^=
hello to everyone else who reads this silly thing. i just felt like i had to acknowledge you too since this post wasn't a general admission. have a beautiful night. =^..^=

still not okay

... =^..^=

pandapple

how cute it this? i got it for mihi in ny. it is SO cute!!! i love it. i slept with it while i was there. mihi loves it now because it smells like mommy and it's the perfect size for her. i just had to share the absolute cuteness this thing is! =^..^=

not afraid to admit

i'd like to be number one in my friends lives. i know i can't be but it would be great!! i'd like to think i try to squeeze everyone i love into the number one spot, at least make them feel that way as often as i can. you see there aren't many people i am number one with. but i must hand it to you three for always making me feel that way. when i stayed with you in nyc, i felt like number one. when i talk to you and you need my support about your life, you make me feel like number one, like when you called yesterday. i hope i helped by the way. you always have an ear with me. you can always escape to me to too. i will never turn you away. you always know what to say and when to say it to make me feel safe, loved, and number one. i don't know where i was going with this but thanks for reading. =^..^=

da bronx

it was totally cool. we hung out at the sham (the shamrock that they all rock) with geanine, bri-bri, and mikey. it was so fun. we went shopping at seaport and totally walked our asses off around the city. i shed a tear at the WTC footprint and was absolutely breathless a few times. i did get a touch of home sick on monday night. it usually happens to me the night before i leave somewhere i'm vacationing on my own. it was bad this time though, probably because of the flight the next day (i hate flying). but thank buddha noel was there. no one answered their phone but noel did. he let me cry to him and was totally supportive and sweet. i really appreciate him doing that. more on that next post. anyhow, nyc was a blast. i got to see all kinds of interesting people who probably thought i was crazy cause i talked to them without a care, said hello, and was very polite. the girls told me that i probably shouldn't be so nice to new yorkers!! *lol and surprise surprise, i drank!! i was fun. the sham is a really cool place, not at all a sham!! ;) i truly enjoyed myself and can't wait to go back. the girls loved their surprises we got for them. s was jumping around yelling about auntie kristi is so nice and she misses her so much and can't wait to see her so she can give her a big huge hug. she wants to call you and tell you how much she loves, misses, and thanks you for taking care of her mommy while she was there and for the prizes!! i can't thank you enough for showing my around and making me feel like i belong. thank you so much for being you. like i said before, your friends are fab and your are too. i'm so happy you are doing so well and things are panning out for the best! take care of yourself and i'll start planning my next trip out there! if you don't mind i would like to ask a.m.y along, don't worry you two will love each other!!! ;) i love you much and can't thank you enough! =^..^=

sweetest astroboy i know

one day while i was flipping through the blogs on this here blogger i came across the most delightful, most kawaii (cute), page i have seen in awhile. he lives in hongkong and he is an artist. his page is wonderfully designed and i think he even writes music! oh my blog, he is the cutest! if you get a chance follow the link to his page and check out his stuff. he really is an amazing artist and his pictures will melt your cold icy heart (not you, just "yours" in general!!) so plugs to you my astroboy. i enjoy your page and i hope others discover the delight that is you! thanks for always checking out my page too! =^..^=

sadly dreams

i was so tired last night that i couldn't tell if this was lucid or just a dream. but i was sitting in my chair watching kamichu and there was a knock on the door. i opened it and it was you and the kids. it was late at night and i could tell the kids were very tired, we set them up in our guest room and you and i went downstairs to talk. you were crying hysterically and between the sobs you told me what lead you to come to my house. with what your mom just recently went through you wanted to come to a neutral place where you could think. i can't quite remember your main issue, something about a decision you had come to and you were at odds with what you should do. i made us some tea and we talked about everything and nothing for a long time. the last thing i remember was telling you to get some rest, you could stay as long as you like, and we'll talk more later. we said goodnight and went to sleep. my heart sank for you and i hope you are doing well, and that this dream is nothing more than a materialization of my worry for you. =^..^=

nintendo ds

okay so i'm saving my odds and ends for a new nintendo ds lite. i want the pink one but i'll settle for a white one. i just love my old one so i'm super excited to get the lite. they have the coolest games for it. and if you have one too it has wifi and we could play games together, even if you don't have the game!! ;) we should totally get a couple. i was thinking since christmas is the next big gift giving time then maybe you'll get one in the mail from santa =^..^=. what color would you prefer? white black or pink? i gave my psp to sage. she loves to play the cute games i got for it and i even bought her a couple movies for it. she watches them when we go on long rides. it's so much nicer than the bulky dvd player she has. we even got her favorite movie for her on it, nightmare before christmas. i wonder if ely and jay would like one. i get them for a trade from a friend, he owns a pawn shop, so i just give him some good stuff and he gives me the psp. so get back to me about the ds and the psp, i would love to get them, and you, something you would love! =^..^=

feed the fetish

so i've had this sock fetish for years. ever since i started making my own money. it gets bad sometimes (sometimes $500 in one order). i haven't bought socks for a few months now so i browsed my usual haunt and couldn't contain myself. i just had to buy some socks!! i got some over the knee pink socks with two thin stripes at the top, some natural angora cable knee high socks, some more black tabi socks, and a pair of dark violet over the knee striped socks. i'm so excited!! i can't wait for them to get here. so then i went to a site i get our t-shirts from and had to get something there too! i got jim 2 soul rebel shirts, one with drums and the other with a latin percussion design (he plays congas like a pro) and i got myself 2 tokidoki shirts. they are totally cute. one is pinstriped button down with little patches in fashionable places and the other is a black tee with big momo & adios on it. they go with my tokidoki bag, which was surprisingly inexpensive! the shirts together were about as much as the bag, but i couldn't resist. i need clothes. i'm still rotating my old clothes from before sage was born. i think it's time to up date. ;) i'll post some pictures for you to see soon! =^..^=

art & tunes

even though i'm on a spending diet i went ahead and bought some art from my current favorite ashley. her art has such emotion and wonder. i love it. i kinda went over board and bought 6 pieces. but they were worth it. i love the prints, am very excited to put them in their places. i'm also excited about my new cd by kate nash. she is a british indie artist, almost diary like writing over interesting beats. check it out if you get a chance. you can see some of ashley's art via the link to the right. plug plug! ;)~ love ya ash. =^..^=

new york here i come!

this is so sudden and spur of the moment! i'll be leaving on the 10th. i'm kinda nervous about the flight, as i hate to fly. but i'm excited to go, as i've never been. it's going to be a blast. i hope. i was quite surprised and pleased when i was asked to come out. i haven't seen her in so long. she has a great place with a view of the bay and we're going to shop most of the time, if we aren't out looking for a guy for her. i was really surprised when jim told me he wanted me to go and enjoy myself. not that he would wish me a bad time, but i worry about him and the girls while i'm gone. i wanted to head over to vir to see another great friend but this trip was so sudden, and short, that i think i will arrange a better time to visit there. i do want to visit there though, i would love to see it too....and you of course!! =^..^=

dad

so my dad got his latest test results back and it looks like his cancer is in remission. we are so pleased about that. i'm so relieved for my parents. the last couple years have been hell worrying about my dad. but by the grace of god he is on the road to remission. i hope their depression subsides and they will be able to happilly enjoy their add-on. yay dad! =^..^=